Dating in Los Angeles. Why are Local Women Single?

In 2024, Los Angeles was named one of the worst cities in the U.S. for dating. This is sad statistics, as the city ranked second, with New York taking the top spot. A survey showed a low likelihood of marriage and a high divorce rate. More about dating and loneliness in LA will be discussed on losangeleska.

The reputation of Los Angeles  

The city boasts a glamorous reputation. It is considered a place for entertainment but certainly not for building lasting relationships. A study conducted by FetishFinder confirmed this. In the 2014 ranking of the worst cities in the U.S. for dating, New York took first place, while Los Angeles came in second.

The metropolis has perfect conditions for residents to feel lonely. Let’s take a closer look at the reasons for this.

1. High cost of living: Because of this, people are constantly working, sacrificing their personal lives and relationships.
2. Dreaminess: People come to Los Angeles to pursue their dreams. This also requires time and a 100% commitment.
3. Increase in technology: The rise of technology “ties” people to screens, preventing them from communicating with others.

Thoughts of the residents  

Tori Leppert, an independent musician from Chicago, shared that in Los Angeles, everyone is focused solely on their own business. If your values and interests don’t match, no one will pay attention to you because people don’t want to waste precious time.

Kat Hamilton, curator of the music collective Writers ‘Round, mentioned that she has asked herself thousands of times what she is doing here.

These are just a few of the creative minds who have shared their thoughts, but they also confirm how lonely the residents of Los Angeles are. The isolation caused by the pandemic has made things worse, resulting in depression, insomnia, dementia and strokes. Studies show that loneliness can also cause physical pain.

Kat Moore, director of the USC Department of Belonging, noted that people need people. This need is as significant as hunger. Kat gave tips on how to feel less lonely in a big city.

1. Changing the mindset. Loneliness is not merely a mental health issue that exacerbates distressing feelings but rather a human condition.
2. Finding your people and creating a community. Simple suggestions for how to do this include going to a café and talking to someone (or on public transport; there are countless options); drawing a belonging map to better understand where to direct your energy in their social landscape; finding a safe “third space,” meaning a place where you wouldn’t feel like so lonely.
3. Joining a community. For example, this could involve dance classes, a musical group, an amateur sports league or speed dating. These are places where you can find friends or even love. Such diverse acquaintances broaden your worldview, making you a more erudite and interesting conversationalist.

Speed dating in Los Angeles

It’s always tough in a big city. People come to Los Angeles with high hopes, but these dreams rarely include marriage and children. Damona Hoffman, a dating coach and author of the book “F The Fairy Tale,” writes that only a small percentage of people in the city want to settle down and build a traditional life, as dreams often outpace the experience of dating and relationships.

Clients of Damona Hoffman, who found love in Los Angeles, have utilized online programs. The coach notes that the first step is changing one’s mindset; that is, moving away from the belief that dating always has a negative script. More optimism and openness are needed. Healthy partnerships are important for mental and physical health. They provide a sense of well-being and security in life. American scientists also confirmed that healthy relationships can prolong life.

How and where do speed dates take place?

This is a quick, cyclical approach to meeting people. In recent years, speed dating has gained incredible popularity in large cities. The main idea was to create a comfortable space for personal meetings in real life, where people can communicate face-to-face rather than through a smartphone screen. This is a new concept in the modern hyper-digital world.

There are many places in Los Angeles where you can sign up for events, one of them includes: CitySwoon, My Cheeky Dates, LA First Dates. People of various ages and gender identities can attend such speed dating events.

Producer of How to LA, Megan Botel, attended an event that took place downtown and shared her impressions. There were men and women aged 21 to 35, and it was held in a cozy French-style lounge. Some needed a bit of courage, so there was a bar and a place for quick snacks.

The goals of the attendees varied. Some wanted to find a significant other and feel a genuine connection, while others were simply looking to have fun.

The courage to meet in person

Indeed, meeting through speed dating also requires courage, as it is a better and more challenging approach than simply swiping left and right on a smartphone in one of the many dating apps.

Companies that organize such events have their own unique features and rules, but there are some things in common. Participants purchase a ticket for the event and fill out a short questionnaire. Usually, women prevail there.

Then comes the most interesting part – participants have seven minutes with each person, and there are approximately ten rounds. The host rings a bell to signal the start of the next round. After that, people decide whether they are interested in the person or not. At the end of the night, participants receive messages about their matches, as well as contact information. After the speed dating and exchange of contact information, everything depends solely on the individuals.

Similar events are held for members of the LGBTQ+ community. Megan Botel attended a speed dating event for gay men aged 21 to 40 at the Belmont Bar in West Hollywood. The matches turned out to be quite similar. Participants fill out a profile before the start, and the host seats them, providing a paper with table numbers. At the end of the event, participants note who they liked the most. In case of matches, the host sends them a message.

How to find a partner in Los Angeles?  

If your option is speed dating, where you can meet several people and choose the best one for yourself, then consider the following:

• you need to relax but keep track of how much alcohol you consume.  
• enjoy the moment, even if you don’t leave with someone’s phone number.  
• don’t eat while talking.  
• think in advance of a few interesting facts about yourself that you would like to share.  
• there may be a hint card on the table; don’t be afraid to use it.  
• everyone present wants to meet new people, so you’re not alone in this goal.  
• don’t focus on the first date, as it can be off-putting.  
• be natural, be yourself.  

So, the dating culture in Los Angeles is multifaceted and dynamic. It’s important to approach the dating world with optimism and open-mindedness, and you will find, if not your love, then new friends.